4-Step Mental Process to Help Quit Drinking

As a woman who has gone through alcohol addiction and emerged stronger, I want to reach out to other women struggling with this debilitating condition. I know how it feels to be hooked on alcohol and think that it is the solution to all problems. The truth is that alcohol is not the solution but the problem. It was my enemy, and it consumed me. It squeezed everything about me out of me, and it seemed impossible to stop.

It took me years to realize that I had a problem with alcohol. The cycle went on and on, the inner turmoil, the justified rage, the excuses, the remorse, the guilt, and the shame. And it wasn't just me suffering; my drinking hurt everyone around me. But, even then, I could not stop. My drinking was a vicious cycle, a catch-22. I was trying to escape from loneliness, boredom, stress, and grief, but alcohol was creating more of the same problem.

After countless attempts to stop drinking, I finally found the key to success. And the same process worked for quitting other drugs too. It all boils down to four essential steps I discovered through years of experience. These steps helped me achieve sobriety; I believe they can do the same for you. Let me share them with you in the hopes that they will help you on your journey to recovery.

1. Surrendering and admitting defeat

It wasn't until I surrendered and admitted defeat that could stop. No matter what tactics I tried, I could not quit drinking. Surrendering, for me, meant admitting I couldn't control my drinking. It was controlling me. This required a leap of blind faith, knowing I didn't have all the answers or the complete picture. Surrendering felt like standing at a crossroads in life, jumping into the void, where I needed to trust my instincts and choose a different path, even though I wasn't sure what to expect.

If you're unsure if you have a drinking problem or wondering how severe it is, check out the 11 criteria from the DSM-5 Manual. Two or three symptoms indicate a Mild Substance Use Disorder, four or five symptoms indicate a Moderate Substance Use Disorder, and six or more symptoms indicate a Severe Substance Use Disorder.

1. Taking the substance in larger amounts or for longer than you meant to.
2. Wanting to cut down or stop using the substance but not managing to.
3. Spending a lot of time getting, using, or recovering from use of the substance.
4. Cravings and urges to use the substance.
5. Not managing to do what you should at work, home, or school because of substance use.
6. Continuing to use, even when it causes problems in relationships.
7. Giving up important social, occupational, or recreational activities because of substance use.
8. Using substances again and again, even when it puts you in danger.
9. Continuing to use, even when you know you have a physical or psychological problem that could have been caused or made worse by the substance.
10. Needing more of the substance to get the effect you want (tolerance).
11. Development of withdrawal symptoms, which can be relieved by taking more of the substance.

 2. Being open-minded

I want to share something that took me a while to realize. Being open-minded is crucial to overcoming alcohol addiction. It's not easy, I know. I had a lot of preconceived notions about what my life would be like without alcohol, and none of them turned out to be true.

When you're trapped in the cycle of addiction, all you can think about is the next drink, how to get it, and how not to get caught. It consumes your thoughts and actions, leaving little room for anything else. But being open-minded means admitting you don't have all the answers and being vulnerable enough to seek help.

Quitting drinking may seem scary at first, but it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. When you're no longer weighed down by the constant need for a drink, you're free to explore new avenues and experiences. There's so much more to life than just alcohol, and I promise you, it's worth it.

So take a deep breath and be open to the possibilities that come with sobriety. You're stronger than you think, and you can do this.

3. Reaching out for help

I know firsthand how hard it can be to admit that we need help, especially when it comes to addiction. We often think that we can handle it on our own, that we can pull ourselves out of the darkness and overcome our struggles all by ourselves. But let me tell you something, my friend: reaching out for help is one of the most important things you can do.

When we reach out for help, we acknowledge that we cannot do it alone. We are taking that first step towards healing, a better life, and a brighter future. We are telling ourselves and the world that we are worth it, deserve happiness and health, and are willing to do whatever it takes to get there.

Reaching out for help can take many different forms. It might mean talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking support from a therapist or counselor, or attending a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous. Whatever form it takes, the important thing is that we are willing to be vulnerable, to open ourselves up to the possibility of help and healing.

I know that it can be scary to ask for help. It can feel like admitting defeat, like acknowledging that we are not strong enough to handle it alone. But the truth is, asking for help takes incredible strength and courage, and it takes a willingness to be honest with ourselves and others and to put ourselves on the path to healing.

So, I urge you to reach out for help if you are struggling with addiction. There is no shame in admitting that we need support, and there is no better time than now to start the journey toward a better life. You are worth it, and there are people who care about you and want to help you on your journey. All you have to do is reach out and take that first step.

4. Making the commitment

I want you to know that I understand how hard it can be to commit to stopping drinking. I have been in your shoes, and I know the struggles that come with addiction. But I also want you to know that committing to not drinking is the most critical step you can take toward a better life.

For a long time, I thought drinking was my only way to cope with life's challenges. But the truth is, alcohol was only making things worse. Every time I had a drink, I was numbing myself from reality instead of facing my problems head-on. It wasn't until I decided to commit to sobriety that I could start truly healing.

Committing to not drink means that no matter what, alcohol is no longer an option. It means that you are willing to face your problems, no matter how difficult they may be, without the crutch of alcohol. It means you are ready to take control of your life and create a better future for yourself.

I know that giving up alcohol can be scary, but trust me, the rewards of sobriety are worth it. You will begin to see the world in a new light, and your relationships will improve as you become more present and engaged with those around you.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. There are so many women out there who are fighting the same battle as you. We may come from different backgrounds and have different stories, but we all share the same pain and the same hope for a better tomorrow. (Hopefully, we can meet in my GendHer® program (coming soon!!))

So, my friend, I urge you to make the commitment to not drink. No matter what challenges may come your way, know that you are capable of overcoming them without alcohol. You deserve a life full of happiness, health, and fulfillment. And that life starts with the commitment to sobriety.

Need help dealing with an addiction to alcohol or other drugs?  My GendHer® program is created with you in mind!

Click here for more information on my next program enrollment.

Click here for my FREE GUIDE How to Quit Drinking. And Stay Quit.

If you are thinking about quitting and have been drinking large quantities of alcohol for a significant time, withdrawal symptoms can be life-threatening. Please talk to your doctor and seek medical care as you go through the detox process. It is important to note that addiction may also mask mental health disorders that someone is drinking to self-medicate, such as depression or anxiety.